Quiet

Lately, I've felt that I have had a lot of time to myself. This is a new thing to me. I'm usually a person to always be doing something, not being able to sit still, always on my feet. Maybe there has been some kind of urgency inside of me to do something important, every moment of my life. Now, you can see how that can get tiring. As I am now sitting on the train on the way to Toronto, listening to mellow music, I'm realizing that this time to sit in silence, wondering around freely in my own thoughts, and perhaps even day dreaming a little, is fun and calming. It's even giving me the space to allow some time for prayer, when this time should be made out of my daily schedule.
The world moves fast. And I've always had a tendency to move at its speed. Now, I'm wanting to slow down. Maybe even just for the rest of this summer. To enjoy the trees passing by, catching every lyric of the song I'm listening to, closing my eyes and focusing on breathing, in and out. I suggest you take the time to be quiet with yourself today. You'll enjoy it. Or it will be a struggle. Either way, try it.

One year done. Now what?

One year. More like 8 months. But rounding up to one year. That was all it took for me to be completely changed. People say that first year, freshman year, at university follows the same old routine of kids getting drunk out of their minds, discovering their inner self, taking advantage of others that are high/hammered/intoxicated on who-knows-what, and well, making lots of friends and learning a few life lessons along the way. You know, "don't ever do drugs", and "know your drinking limit". Basically, you learn to not do anything in excess. Very valuable. However, my time as a first year, or as they call it in Quebec, U0, I'm glad to say, was special.

Out of the many things I learned in school, the most important thing I took out from it was the realization that I was a lazy bum. Being hit straight in the face with my first round of midterms was what gave me the wake up call that things were definitely not like high school. Not one bit. To give some visuals: high school allowed me to tan and sip on some cool orange juice, lying comfortably on the beach, until university plucked me off my sorry a** and dunked me into the cold ocean water. I guess it really taught me how to work, how to study, how to be a university student. All necessary things that needed to happen in preparation of my many more years at McGill.

Now, what made this year really special was Montreal itself. The people I have met are truly wonderful. I cannot imagine not having them in my life. My year was special because they are special. 

So. One year done. Now what? Now, this huge 4 month of a summer stares at me. Then, second year of university. I guess if I have made it this far, I can keep going for another 3 years. But then what? I know I am thinking way too ahead, but as I was coming home from Montreal, I couldn't shake off the feeling of what am I going to do with my life? I know that worrying now isn't doing anything. So what I will do is keep dreaming, hoping for the best, striving to be the best, working hard at what is given to me, and most importantly, savouring each moment of life as they come. One year feels like it's only been a blur. And yet, so much from that blur has impacted my life. Who knows how the upcoming blur of what is left of my undergraduate studies will change me. Hopefully, only for the better.
One year done. Now what? The rest of life. Come at me. I'm ready.

Coffee

Most adults, my parents included, have always told me that they can't live without coffee. That their fresh brewed cup in the morning is essential in starting their days on a bright note. This had no effect on me until it hit me on a personal level.

Suddenly, all of my close pals would go into a coffee shop and order not an iced tea or passion fruit shaken lemonade (for those Starbucks lovers) but rather a caramel machiato, vanilla latte, or sometimes take the even bolder move of buying straight coffee, saying "I love it! I wouldn't know what to do without it!" Obviously I pretended that I was into it too. At first it just looked super cool, to have that Starbucks paper cup in my hand, filled with something I didn't want to spend 4 bucks on, but it's all about the outward appearance no?

In the end, my point is that I don't REALLY like it. It's more the fact that when drinking this sour, quite weird tasting drink, I know it has the real "goods". Caffeine. Ah the life of a university student during midterms...
And maybe one day, I'll grow to TRULY like and enjoy drinking it. Either that, or everyone else will confess that they too share in my hate-the-taste but love-the-effect relationship with coffee. 

Here goes to the start of something new.

Never once in my life have I considered myself a fancy writer. English was one of my lease favourite subjects in high school; a) I found it boring and b) I was never able to get a great mark in the class, which led me to dislike it even more. (And yes, I was the kid who cared that much about her grades). However, I have come to realize that the only person criticizing and judging my writing was, well, me. Now I know to simply write what I feel, think and believe. This is 100 times better than me trying to sound like a person who uses big words and is majoring in English or something. 

Lately, i'm even finding that when my thoughts are put down on paper, or on a blog like this one, that it is easier to organize them, and sometimes remember them. Maybe the brain is too small for all the things one consumes in a day. 

There is no theme that I plan to follow when writing this blog. This is more for myself than anyone else, and since I am pretty sure not many people (besides my close friends) will be reading this, it all works out. What I hope to do is to be able to clearly express my many loves in this world; music, art, faith, love, family, and whatever I come to love in the future. 

Here I go.